Starbucks' Unicorn Frappucino might give good photo opp, but Anthony Bourdain thinks it's trash.
The inbred show-dog of Starbucks drinks was the target of Bourdain's disdain in a recent interview with Town & Country. He can't seem to comprehend how this wretched, unnaturally colorful thing exists... but he's clearly not a fan.
Wow, that’s like four things I hate all in one sentence: Starbucks, unicorns, and the colors pink and purple. Also a Frappuccino! It’s the perfect nexus of awfulness. Just add pumpkin spice to that mix, and you can nuke the whole county.
Tell us how you really feel, Mr. Bourdain.
The Unicorn Frappucino consists of "a sweet dusting of pink powder blended into a crème Frappuccino with mango syrup, and layered with a pleasantly sour blue powder topping," according to Starbucks. It's apparently like a reverse Sour Patch Kid: sweet when you first drink it, but increasingly tangy as everything stirs together.
Don't let the unnatural coloring or "sour" sugar powder throw you: this is still supposed to be coffee.
Bourdain is hardly alone in his dissent. The UniFrapp also found another high-profile hater in Katy Perry, who spit out the fruity coffee after one sip. A self-proclaimed "unicorn" herself, Perry's accompanying Instagram video includes the comment "I couldn't handle drinking my own blood."
There's some good news, at least our nightmare is almost over.
The UniFrapp is a limited-time offering, available on menus in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico from April 19-23. Starbucks posters promised that it's "only available if you believe" so let's all mutually agree to forget this dark period of our lives as soon as the clock ticks over to April 24.