As head of the Department of Pizza Crime (just go with it), I hereby denounce pizza dipped in milk as the most heinous pizza offense yet.
The ghastly combo hit the internet earlier this week, when a 20-year-old college student posted a photo of it to Twitter. She's since made her account private, but people have reposted it anyway—accompanied, of course, by their opinions.
Okay. Here are some reasons why this is the worst:
Pizza is not cookies.
Pizza, because it already has sauce, does not need to be wetter. Liquid-wise, it can be improved only by another savory sauce (buffalo, ranch, garlic sauce, etc.).
Now you have to drink milk with bits of pizza in it — cheesy tomato milk.
And fellow pizza crimes don't really hold a candle. Well, what about pineapple pizza? you might ask. And that pizza made with peas and mayonnaise? Well, one's a matter of taste, and the other's just disgusting, to be sure—a pizza troll, if you will, if it can be called a pizza at all.
But this? This is something else entirely.
So, please: Don't dip your pizza in milk. Save yourself, because there's a worst case scenario here: trying milk pizza could ruin the taste of pizza for you forever.
Just, like, have a nice soda with your pizza instead. And don't even think about dipping.
Don't.Topics: Food, pizza, Twitter, Watercooler
Image: YouTube/James Dator